Tonight

Sitting, watching the TV
you asleep on my lap
Do you know how much I love you?
You sleeping like that, you look perfect.

Sometimes I see you as the little girl I first met.
Tonight is a "sometime"
It was over 13 years ago, seems so far away.
We were two kids in love, just worried about that day

Sixteen years old, we talked about a future
that seemed so slow to come.
We are here now; worries, fatigue and grey hair to show.

I wouldn't change a thing, with you in my lap tonight.
I could stay here forever.
Your tired head rest on my lap marching through unknown dreams
mine is lost in nostalgia.

I still carry the picture of a high school junior in my wallet
The edges are worn and the color is fading.

Like the photo our bodies will fade and wear;
our love is bright,
our love is crisp,
our love is young, vibrant and still excited in me
tonight.

LOVE

a word

one word

used abused refused
accepted neglected rejected

I just want it reflected

Into me so brightly that it
shines rays of light out
of my fingers and toes

That people who meet me and greet me
they see the word inside of me

It fuels me

It's required by my soul
more than my lungs can last without that
element "O" I found on that table in
room 301 in the science hall...periodically

One time in fourth grade I went
underwater with a wrist watch on and
gave myself a headache because I stopped "O"
for 90 seconds

But I know in less than one second without
the Capital L from The One who breaths
life into all created beings

I'd

be

done

I'm a fiend that runs inefficiently on it
but I don't pay the cost
and my failure to pass the emissions test of righteousness
makes the price of that fossil fuel look minuscule

a perfect life was lived

He knows that my soul could not hold out without
so He laid it down

I drink from His cup
I fall to my knees
and try to press my forehead through the ground
at the foot of His execution device

I ask him to join me
and He swims so deeply into my heart
with a pick axe he breaks off the hard parts
and softens me

I look up and say: "dhonnobad"

Capital "w" Wisdom

I love Michangelo's creation of Adam; God is outstretched reaching with all his might, being held by the angels of Heaven so that he does not fall. Then there's me (man/Adam) barely giving any effort, I'm lazy and I make sure that I stay comfortable, I reach out with a limp wrist keeping myself just out of God's reach.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" - Proverbs 3:5

I have at my disposal the ability to tap into the wisdom of the creator of the Universe. The One who knows the fabric of my soul and holds the future in his hands.

I have in me the power of the Holy Spirit. Those who ask for it have been left with "The Counselor" (Jn 16:7) and this Spirit of Truth will guide us to all Truth (Jn 16:13).

Wow...but something is wrong, because I don't feel that I have the wisdom of God when I need it. I don't always feel "guided". When I do "feel" something can I honestly tell myself that I'm in communication enough with God through prayer, and that I'm in his word enough to know that my thoughts our not my own, but Gods?

I am guided by my will.

God did great things through Jesus' disciples and I think: "sure they did these things but they were able to walk with Jesus for 3 years; if you gave me that privilege Lord I would look like Peter, Andrew, James our John too" (See how I assume that I would be in Jesus' inner group?...My pride and ignorance are grand). But Jesus tells them that God will give them something better than his teachings and miracles, he says that it's good that he's leaving that once he dies they will receive something that wont speak to them in parables or figuratively but the Spirit of Truth will tell them plainly. This spirit is something I will have access too as well. I have no excuses.

"I tell you the Truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you" (John 16:5-7)..."I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

So instead of listening to God I lean on the understandings and advice of other humans and mostly myself. I trust my limited human knowledge that is motivated by my own selfish and sinful desires. And I don't trust in God.

I ask for God's wisdom (that is easy)

but when he gives me his wisdom do I listen or follow it no matter how hard? Or do I sit comfortably and give God an index finger not even fully extended?

My mind needs to be his.

**This was written while listening to The Low Anthem's album Smart Flesh**

LOVE WINS - Rob Bell

Rob Bell comes out with a new book titled "Love Wins" and because "iLike" Mr. Bell on facebook I received a video promo for the book. After I watched it I thought that Mr. Bell does what he's always done...very well. He ask tough questions. He ask questions that make you think about what you believe and maybe more importantly why you believe them.









But then after watching this I wondered at what point do questions become dangerous? At what point does challenging a certain theology or doctrine become dangerous? When I first watched this I felt turned off; that Mr. Bell had gone too far, that his questions were dangerous and could lead people down a wide path instead of a narrow one. I started to think that this seemed like Christian Universalism. A Universalist believes that all paths lead to God. A Christian Universalist believes that Christ died and saved everyone from hell regardless of what they believe or how much they do or do not love God. They believe that you don't need to recognize Christ sacrifice on the cross to receive the saving grace of God. And apparently I'm not the only one who thought this about the the video (google Rob Bell Universalist).

Then I thought that Rob Bell needs to sell books and what better way than making a video under three minutes to create some controversy and let both sides buy the book because in the video he didn't answer the questions he's asking.

Truth is I will buy the book, I want to know if Rob Bell is a Universalist or not. I like most of the questions that Mr. Bell has asked in the past.

I don't know Mr. Bell (That's why I've tried to call him Mr. Bell), we are not friends, and I'm not on a first name basis with him. He doesn't know me, and I'm don't want to be a guy that bashes famous people he doesn't know....it's too easy. I only know what he lets me know. In his lectures, his nooma video's, his books and his sermons.


Now for my question: Is Mr. Bell a Christian Universalist or is this video another way to sell books? Or both, or neither?